Lives of the Vongolas
by Wordless Mage
Summary: A collection of one/two-shot about Tsuna and/or his Guardians' lives—there may be some pairings, some stories will be AU and every chapter will be focus on different peoples . Chapter 1: Where Gokudera found a very OOC Hibari. Chapter 2: Where Tsuna and his Guardians were sent to the past.
1. Solving someone's problem is not fun

**Chapter 01:**

Solving someone's problem is **not **fun…

…_When that someone was Hibari or Mukuro._

* * *

Character(s) : Gokudera, Hibari, Yamamoto, Mukuro (Mostly are Gokudera and Hibari)

Pairing : Hinted 182769

Disclaimer : Katekyo Hitman Reborn is NOT mine. Okay.

Warning : This chapter contains a very OOC Hibari & Mukuro. I need them to be OOC :)

Words : 1491

* * *

**G**okudera was not really sure whether he should've laugh or go see a doctor or both. He just got back from his three-days-long mission and now he had to face this. He didn't know what to do because it was the first time a thing like this happened in his life. To laugh or not to laugh: that's the question.

Well, if you ask me, I'd say he'll just have to walk away and just pretend that he didn't see anything but no. This is Gokudera we're talking about. Gokudera won't walk away just like that and left the spot—the spot where something _very_ interesting is happening. No, Gokudera wouldn't leave.

So, that brings us back to the situation where Gokudera was not sure whether to laugh or go see a doctor or both.

"…Oi…Hibari…" he started awkwardly. "Why are you…_pouting_? Is…Is that _tears_ I see?"

Gokudera thought maybe he should've laugh at Hibari and say mockingly: 'HA! Who's the herbivore now!' or; 'Did you lose your pet bird?' or; 'Did someone take little Hibari's toys?' and so on. But, he didn't.

Hibari—still _pouting _—looked up…wait…I meant glared at Gokudera. How could he gave a glare that could kill an elephant _while_ pouting, I don't know. Ask him yourself. I'm not putting my life on the line _just_ to ask him how he did that, thank you very much.

Okay.

So, Hibari _glared_ (while pouting) at Gokudera sending shivers down to the storm's spine. No, Gokudera was **not** scared of Hibari. He's the Jyuudaime's _right-hand man_, why would he be scared of someone like Hibari? So, no, he was not scared of Hibari: _the_ Hibari that'll 'bite' you to death just because you exist.

To Gokudera, this situation was downright weird—really, really, _really _weird_._ Yes, _even_ weirder than UMAs and _Mukuro's hair-style_. The feared President of the Disciplinary Committee, the infamous so-called protector of Namimori, the Tenth Boss of Vongola Famiglia's strongest Guardian:_ the_ Hibari Kyoya was _weeping_ in a corner.

No wonder the maid earlier looked scared when she got out from the room. That poor maid, she was scarred for life.

"It's none of your business, Herbivore." Typical Hibari.

"I'm just trying to be nice, bastard."

"Well, don't."

"So, why are you crying?"

Hibari's glares were getting intense every second. " .**NOT**.CRYING."

"Yeah, of course not," said Gokudera. "You're just sweating from your eyes! Seriously, just tell me. It's not like I'll tell."

Hibari looked like he was thinking. After a while he looked up and said, "…Promise?" Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. "And don't laugh when I tell you."

Gokudera stared at the _man_ in front of him. It's either he was dreaming or he was going crazy (not like he'_s_ sane to begin with) or the world was ending. He _needs _to go and see a doctor, a psychiatrist, a counselor or whoever after this.

First, he found _the_ Hibari Kyoya, pouting _and_ weeping in a corner and now. _The_ Hibari Kyoya was holding out his _pinkie_, looking like he was going to cry (again) any second and he looked helpless. 'Hibari' and 'helpless' shouldn't be in the same sentence unless there's a 'not' in between those two words.

Gokudera should've walk away earlier and he wouldn't have to deal with this…thing.

He sat on the floor, facing Hibari, held out his pinkie and linked it with Hibari's. "Okay, promise… Whatever," he finished awkwardly and pulled his finger back.

As soon as Gokudera said that Hibari smiled. Hibari _smiled. Hibari_ smiled. The I'm-the-carnivore-you-are-the-herbivore-therefore-I'll-bite-you-to-death Hibari, **SMILED**. _Is that fucking pineapple-head messing with me with his illusions?_

"Is this an illusion?" the storm guardian was asking. Hibari shook his head _cutely_. Is that even legal?

"Oh," said the storm dumbly. "So… What exactly caused you to be…like this?"

Hibari looked down before he started sobbing. .HELL. Did Hibari eats some weird pills or what?

"It's…It's Tsunayoshi…" Hibari sobbed. Gokudera nodded.

"Go on: I'm listening."

"He-" Sob "-Tsunayoshi-" Sob "-He-" His voice muffled as he sobbed.

"Hibari, stop sobbing and speak," demanded the silver-haired Mafioso.

"I'm-" Sob "-trying!"

"Okay, okay. Just calm down, breath slowly and talk," ordered the storm. Hibari nodded.

After he calmed down, he spoke again, clearer this time, "I'll start from the beginning." Gokudera nodded.

All the time Hibari was telling his story, Gokudera expressions shifted from I'm-listening-just-talk to wait-what to what-the-hell to are-you-kidding-me and repeat the cycle.

"So, you're saying…you were at Jyuudaime's office earlier this morning, helping him with paper works while I was on my mission-" Hibari nodded, "-and then Mukuro appeared out of thin air and annoyed you-" nod, nod "-so, you got mad started to fight him in Jyuudaime's office resulting broken furniture, destroyed finished paper works and an angry Jyuudaime?" Again, Hibari nodded.

"Then, Jyuudaime went to HDWM, stopped you two and confiscate your tonfas and Mukuro's trident."

"He said he's tired of me always fighting with that pineapple-herbivore and he hated me," uttered Hibari and he started sobbing again.

"…" Gokudera was processing the information in his head.

"He also said that he don't want to see my face anymore," Hibari added.

"…" Why was he even doing this in the first place?

"Gokudera, are you okay?"

"…" Did _Hibari_ just call him Gokudera? This is seriously too much.

"Gokudera?" What kind of sick joke is this?

"You cried only because of that?" Gokudera finally spoke. "What are you? A little girl?"

"Don't say that," Hibari whined. Gokudera face palmed.

"You do know Jyuudaime won't be angry for a long time. You're his guardian, his friend, his _lover_ (It was hard for Gokudera to accept this) and his family even. He can't hate you."

"Ar-Are you sure?" Did Hibari _stutter_?

"Yes, I am sure. Believe me. I'm sure he'll be okay by dinnertime and you can apologize to him. Don't worry," comforted the younger man. Hibari wiped his tears and nodded.

"Okay, I believe you," stated Hibari. Slowly, he got on his feet. "I'm going to my room now. Thank you for listening," voiced Hibari. Gokudera nodded dumbly.

Before Hibari got to the door Gokudera called out. Hibari turned to face him.

"What is it?"

"Where is Mukuro?" asked Gokudera. No, he was not going to go and comfort that pineapple-head too. He was just making sure he wouldn't encounter the said guy. He already had enough of all of this nonsense for today.

"He's in the garden," answered the raven. He walked out after that.

Gokudera got on his feet and went out of the mansion to see a psychiatrist—he really needed one. He sent a message to Tsuna before going.

* * *

"Mukuro."

"Yes?"

"Tsuna's going to be okay by dinnertime, just say sorry to him there. I'm sure he'll forgive you. You know Tsuna, he can't be angry for long." Yamamoto laughed awkwardly before he got on his feet.

"Okay." Mukuro nodded. "Where are you going?"

"Uhh, I need to go somewhere. Okay, bye."

"Thank you for your opinions, Yamamoto Takeshi."

"Haha, you're welcome." And he went.

* * *

Gokudera was surprised when he met Yamamoto in the psychiatrist' office. He just dealt with Hibari earlier and he was not going to deal with Yamamoto too. He was about to say something mean to the baseball-idiot but stopped when he saw that the baseball-idiot looked dead tired. Even his smile looked strained.

Gokudera had asked why and Yamamoto replied with one word.

"Mukuro."

When, Yamamoto asked Gokudera why. Gokudera replied.

"Hibari."

No more words were needed. They understood completely.

* * *

**OMAKE**

**T**he rain and the storm were back to the mansion during dinner. When they entered the dining room, they felt relieved when they saw the cloud, the mist and the sky were back to normal. They were right about Tsuna's going to forgive the two men at dinner. With a smile decorating their faces they joined the other.

"Haha, I'm glad you're okay now, Mukuro," exclaimed Yamamoto happily.

"I see you're okay now, Hibari," said Gokudera.

As soon as the rain and the storm said that, the cloud and the mist shot them a look. The look said, '_Say anything and I'll kill you ('bite you to death' in Hibari's case). Forget everything that had happened earlier. That was just a dream. You didn't see my crying my hearts out earlier. Forget it._' Just a dream? More like _nightmare._

The dumbfounded rain and storm thought of the same thing: _Ungrateful bastards._

They _should_ have taken some pictures for blackmail but they didn't even think about it. No one's going to believe them if they tell the others. Seriously, Hibari _and _Mukuro were crying. No one will believe that. That's like saying Xanxus's playing with dolls.

So the rain and storm just _try _to forget everything that happened earlier.

* * *

**Moral of the story:** If you ever see Hibari and/or Mukuro crying. Pretend you didn't see anything and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE _AND_ YOUR SANITY!—If you can escape in the first place.

* * *

**A/N:** Hi, everyone. This is my first ever story here so I'm sorry if there are many grammar or spelling mistakes. Forgive me for my fail humor T_T Please R&R. And yes, Hibari and Mukuro were seriously OOC. IDEK what's wrong with me. SO, is it okay?


	2. Visiting the Famiglia

**Chapter 02:**

Visiting the Famiglia…

… _Vongola Primo's Famiglia._

* * *

Character(s) : 10th Gen and 1st Gen.

Pairing : None

Timeline : TYL-verse – Primo's Time

Words : 1974 words

Disclaimer : Katekyo Hitman Reborn is MI- Fine! Stop stabbing me, goddamnit!

Warning : I'm just too awesome in making the characters OOC. So, peace~

* * *

**T**suna and his Guardians (except for Hibari and Mukuro who were glaring fiercely at the blond Frenchman and the melon-mixed-pineapple hairstyle man respectively) smiled sheepishly as the men in front of them looked—glare into their souls for the blond Frenchman's case—curiously at them.

"Umm… We're kinda lost," Tsuna scratched his cheek awkwardly. He was telling the truth—they were lost…lost in time.

Tsuna wasn't exactly sure how they ended up here-the Vongola Boss' office—of all places. And they were in the past. _The _past. The _**PAST! **_He was just being a good boss, signing his paper works in his office _without _complaining. Then, Lambo suddenly burst in and sta-

Lambo!

Lambo managed to hit Tsuna with his bazooka! But then, he should've appeared in the _future_ and **not** the _past._ How the hel-

Gianinni!

The bald technician must've tweaked (or _just_ touched) Lambo's bazooka. Damn, Tsuna had warned Lambo to never, ever, _ever_ hand his bazooka, grenades or ANYTHING to the bald technician for the sake of their safety and _sanity_.

The young boss gave Lambo a look that said, 'What did I tell you about giving your stuffs to Gianinni?', and Lambo replied with an I-didn't! look. Tsuna gave him a don't-lie-to-me look. Again Lambo replied with the I-didn't! look.

Tsuna stopped looking at his youngest Guardian who was _this_ close to tears and sighed. Lambo wasn't lying, he would've known if Lambo did. Then, if it wasn't Lambo, who the hell hande-

REBORN!

It was Reborn! No wonder he was smirking before he left the 25-years-old boss's office earlier. He even bid the Decimo a good day which the Decimo didn't really remember until now. The Decimo was so busy that he didn't really hear reborn said that.

_Good day my ass! Damn Reborn! He planned all of this. No wonder __**ALL **__of my Guardians are here! _Tsuna thought angrily.

The Guardians, Vongola Primo and his Guardians, looked as the brunet's face changed from confusion to realization and then to anger—he did it for a few times. The brunet was releasing a very, very scary, strong and deadly dark aura. The Tenth Generation Guardians (except for Hibari who was leaning on a wall a little far from the crowd and Mukuro who was _still_ glaring at Daemon Spade) gulped while the First Generation just stared.

Giotto cleared his throat, snapping the brunet out of his inner conflict and gaining attentions from the occupants of the room. The brunet blushed as he mumbled a small 'sorry' then looked at the rest of the First Generation's Boss and Guardians.

"Who are you? How did all of you manage to enter this mansion?" Giotto's voice was stern. He was suspicious of the men in front of them. The fact that they looked like him and his Guardians didn't help.

"…We're lost and we just kinda pop in into this place," literally, Tsuna added in his mind.

"And you expect us to believe that crap?" The pi-sorry, I meant, red haired man glared at them. "Which Famiglia are you from?"

Tsuna gulped. What the hell was he supposed to do? Should he just tell the truth or… But, he can't leak information from the present…wait, future…whatever. The young boss couldn't think of anything as the other occupants in the room were either looking or smiling or glaring or growling at him. How the HELL was he supposed to think calmly?

"We came in peace," Tsuna started.

G scoffed. "Yeah and I'd be more than happy to send you to heaven or hell so you can _rest in peace_."

"Don't you talk to Jyuudaime like that, pink-haired bastard!"

"What did you say, brat?"

"I-It's okay, Gokudera-kun," Tsuna tried to calm his ever-so-loyal right-hand man.

"But, Jyuudaime, he was rude-"

"It's okay, Gokudera-kun," repeated Tsuna more sternly. Gokudera bowed and said sorry to his boss after he gave a very fierce glare to G who was still glaring at his boss. If look could kill—well, it couldn't.

Tsuna cleared his throat as he started to speak again, "I'm very sorry but we can't tell you anything about us but you don't have to worry: we mean no harm."

It was Daemon Spade who scoffed this time and Gokudera had tried really hard not to kick the bastard's sorry ass.

"And why is that? We need to know who you are and what you're doing in this mansion so you should tell us. Promise we won't harm you if you do—Daemon put your scythe away from his neck."

"They're trespasser," Daemon reasoned, his scythe was awfully close to the Decimo's poor neck.

Gokudera, Yamamoto, Ryohei, Lambo and Chrome were about to help Tsuna but stopped when the latter gave them an assuring look.

"You're too soft—too naïve, Primo," Daemon spat but still, he removed the scythe from the poor tuna's neck, albeit grudgingly.

Tsuna sighed. "P-Primo, we can't tell you anything because you won't believe us and it also can change my friends and my lives."

"No, we will believe you so please do tell us," persuaded Primo.

There was a short silence before Tsuna decided to speak.

"We're…Umm…"

"Hurry up we don't have all day," the blond Frenchman, Alaude stated.

"Aah, yes… So, I was trying to say that…" Tsuna paused. He closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again, much to Alaude, G and Daemon's chagrin.

"We are from the future," he finished.

.

.

.

"…What?"

"…And we're your successors," added Tsuna.

.

.

.

"…What?"

"Oh, and Primo's Tsuna's great-great-great-great grandpa!" told Yamamoto.

.

.

.

"…What?"

"I'm Vongola Decimo and they are my Guardians," the Decimo announced, pointing to his companions.

.

.

.

"Wha-"

"For God sake, Lampo, can't you say other things than that?" G snapped.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Nani?"

"One day, I will surely kill you, brat…" a vine popped on G's forehead.

"Umm… Shouldn't we be worried about what these men are saying more than what Lampo's saying?"

"Right."

.

.

.

"Did you just said that you're from the future, are our successors, this guy," Alaude pointed Tsuna, "is Giotto's great-great-great-great grandson who was also the Vongola's tenth boss and the others are his Guardians?"

Tsuna together with Yamamoto, Lambo and Chrome nodded. The First Generation stared at Alaude.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"…That was the longest sentence you ever said, Alaude," Giotto voiced. Alaude glared at him and he winched.

"Umm…guys?" Knuckle spoke. "What about these men?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry, we got carried away," Giotto apologized.

"It's fine," Tsuna chuckled awkwardly.

.

.

.

"SO, you guys are from the future?" asked Giotto.

"We've accomplished that already if you didn't notice," said Mukuro.

"Um, yeah."

"Wait, Giotto. Are you saying they're telling the truth?" G asked disbelievingly. Giotto smiled sheepishly.

"What are you? Stupid?"

"Hey, that's mean!"

G faced Tsuna. "What're you going tell us next? You had fight with a sadistic marshmallow predator that was very strong to save your future and you guys actually won?" he mocked.

Tsuna laughed awkwardly.

"WOW, YOU ARE EXTREMELY RIGHT! THAT WAS EXTREMELY AWESOME!" exclaimed the overly-extreme boxer.

.

.

.

"…I was right?"

"Seriously, a marshmallow predator?"

"I don't think you should be concerned about that, Lampo," suggested Asari.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You had a baby that proclaimed himself as he best hitman in the world as your tutor and he's one sadistic bastard," G guessed.

"Maa, maa, the kid's not that bad."

.

.

.

"…I was right, again?"

"Nufufu, your tutor's a baby? How pathetic…"

"Shut up, melon-mixed-pineapple bastard!" hollered Gokudera.

"Oya, Gokudera Hayato. I didn't appreciate that you associate me with that pedophile," Mukuro said darkly.

"I didn't even mention your name!"

"Hn, you just admitted that your hair looks like pineapple, pineapple herbivore," the raven who was quiet the whole time stated. A smirk was decorating his face.

"…" A tick mark appeared on Mukuro's forehead.

Before, Mukuro could recover, G spoke again, "That brat," he pointed his index finger at Hibari's direction, "has a thing for cute and small animals and he has a pet bird that can talk…"

Primo and his other Guardians stared at G.

"G, that was ridiculous. There's no way that's going to be true. Listen, I know you're Giotto's _right_-hand man. But, that didn't mean that you'll _always_ be _right_," Lampo told G who was still shock that his guesses were right,

"Umm, actually…" the timid girl trailed off.

The First Generation Guardians snapped their head to Chrome. She blushed as everyone's attentions were on her.

"Are you going to tell us G was right…again," Knuckle inquired.

Yamamoto sensing his fellow Guardian distressed state decided to help. "Ahaha, you're awesome! But not only that, Hibari's pet bird—Hibird—can also sing!"

.

.

.

"Wow." Lampo looked disbelievingly at G. G growled.

"Are you okay, G?" asked Asari, concerned.

"…"

"Can you take him to the infirmary, Knuckle?" requested Giotto.

"Sure!"

"I'll give you a hand," offered Asari.

"Thank you," Giotto thanked his two friends as they took the unconscious G to the infirmary.

"Kufufu, he's weak."

"Pathetic herbivore."

"M-Mukuro! H-Hibari-san! Don't say that!"

Cue glares for Tsuna.

"I'll blow you two bastards to pieces!"

"Calm down, Gokudera-kun!"

"…If the Jyuudaime said so," Gokudera put his dynamites back.

"Excuse me, umm…"

"Tsuna."

"Ah, yes Tsuna. Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Nufufu, you seriously believed them?" mocked Daemon Spade.

"Yes."

The illusionist face palmed.

"This is a waste of time," said Alaude as he left the room.

"Indeed," supported Daemon as he dissolved into mist.

"Please, excu-" Giotto stopped abruptly as the room was suddenly filled with pink smoke.

"What the!" exclaimed Lampo.

When the smoke disappeared, Giotto noticed that the peoples earlier were gone. Giotto blinked as he faced Lampo.

"Did they just disappear?"

Lampo nodded.

"I think I should take a break from the paper works for a while. I'm starting to hallucinate," declared Giotto.

"Giotto, I saw it too. You weren't hallucinating," said Lampo.

"We all should take a break for a few days."

"Giotto, that's not what I mea-" Lampo sighed as Giotto excused himself.

"Ugh, whatever!" he stomped out from Giotto's office.

* * *

"REBORN!" the Decimo called out his sadistic and demonic tutor as soon as he appeared in his office. The said demon was sitting on the boss's work desk, sipping his cappuccino slowly.

"Ah, having a great day?"

"Don't you 'having a great day' me!" yelled the young boss.

"That hurt, Tsuna," Reborn faked a hurt expression.

"…" Tsuna sighed and went to his seat and continued to sign his unfinished paper works. He knew he can't win the sadistic baby. "I'm just going to do my paper works so please don't disturb me."

Reborn smirked. Maybe, he should send his dame-student to the future next time.

* * *

"Eh, Giotto, where are the future peoples?" asked Asari as Giotto entered the infirmary.

"There are no future peoples, you were hallucinating."

"What do you mea-" Giotto cut Knuckle sentence.

"There are no future peoples."

"But, the-"

"No future peoples."

"Fine."

* * *

**OMAKE**

Alaude was just walking around the garden when suddenly G stopped him. It looked like G's okay now…

"Alaude, you actually have a crush on Daemon." It was not a question, it was a statement.

…or not.

"Pardon me?" A vein popped on Alaude's forehead.

"I said you have a crush on Daemon. On a second thought, you also have a crush on Giotto."

"G, do you want to die?" asked the blonde.

"…and Knuckle."

"…"

"Asari too…"

"…"

"…"

"I'll kill you for spurting nonsense, G."

"It wasn't true?" asked G, his eyes sparkling.

"…No, it wasn't. Why would I have a crush on those peoples?" confirmed Alaude.

"Alaude."

"What?"

"I love you."

"…That's it." And all hell broke loose.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I don't even know what's wrong with me. This chapter is seriously a cracky one. I hope you guys like it TT_TT I kinda lost my ideas at the end…


	3. Hello?

**Chapter 03:**

Hello?

_...What kind of sick joke is this?!_

* * *

Character(s) : Tsuna, Reborn, Guardians

Pairing : None

Disclaimer : Katekyo Hitman Reborn is NOT mine. Okay.

Warning : Cursing, pervert Tsuna, etc

Words : 2032 Words

* * *

Reborn looked amused at his student as the latter gulped down a bottle of vodka in a few seconds. Yes, he's that fast.

"Re-hic-born," slurred the pretty-much-drunk man. Reborn smirked. "Yes, what is it, Dame-Tsuna?"

"I thi-hic-nk my guar-hic-dians hate me," the young boss sobbed. "And I'm bored." Reborn let a smirk graced his face. "I don't think they do, Dame-Tsuna. And if you're bored, why don't you do something fun?" suggested the smirking baby.

Tsuna look at Reborn. "Like w-hic-what?" he asked. The smirk on the baby's face got even creepier as his fedora shadowed his eyes. Oh, he's going to enjoy this. Very much.

* * *

Yamamoto Takeshi was just sitting in his room, watching the re-run of yesterday's baseball match when his phone rung. He grabbed the phone and look at the caller I.D: Tsuna. He smiled as he click the green button and brought the phone to his ear.

"Haha, Tsuna? Do you need anything?" He asked good-naturedly. Tsuna rarely call him or the others because well, they pretty much live in the same mansion.

"...Ya...Yamamoto," came the voice from the other line. Yamamoto furrowed his eyebrows. Tsuna sounded like he's sick.

"Tsuna, are you okay?" asked Yamamoto.

"...Of course I am," came the reply.

"Oh, are you sure?" Yamamoto insisted. Well, he should be worry. His boss rarely get sick and when he does, it's going to be really bad.

"Yamamoto..."

"Ye-"

"I love you."

"...haha... Of course, Tsuna! I love you too!"

"...Then, do you wanna make men-babies with me?" Yamamoto choked on air at that.

"What?"

"What?"

"Tsuna are you drunk?"

"I'm drunk in your love."

"...ahaha, I think you need to rest, Tsuna."

"I don't need rests; I need you."

"Umm... Do you want me to come over? You don't sound very good Tsuna."

"Sure, Yamamoto and I want you to bring your big bad bat with you."

"You mean the bat that the Kid gave me?"

"No, you know what I mean. I want you to get you big bad bat in my base, right now." Tsuna purred.

"..." What?

"Yamamoto, you still there?"

"Tsuna, um, I think you should call Gokudera or something. I'm sure he know what to do with you."

"Do I still get your big bad bat?"

That's it. Yamamoto hung up. What the fuck is wrong with his boss?

* * *

"Reborn, he hung up on me," stated the young boss. Reborn fought the urge to laugh his ass out loud.

"He must be busy," he supplied. "Why don't you call Gokudera, Dame-Tsuna." Tsuna nodded and proceeded to call his right-hand man number.

Gokudera Hayato was reading a book about some mysterious animals in the library. Suddenly, his phone rung and he looked at the screen. He's got the biggest smile on his face when he saw the name flashing on the screen. He accepted the call.

"Jyudaime! It is an honor for me to receive a call from you. Do you need help with anything, Jyudaime?" asked the overly-happy right-hand man of Tsuna.

"G-Gokudera-kun," he heard a sob. His smile faltered and was replaced by a frown.

"J-Jyudaime?" Gokudera stuttered. "Are y-you okay?"

"Gokude-dera-kun..." Gokudera gulped. "...I'm p-pregnant."

Gokudera stilled. J-Jyudaime's pregnant! His eyes widened.

"Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna said after a few moments of silence. Gokudera closed his eyes then took a deep breath.

"Who did it, Jyudaime?" he tried to sound as calm as he could. The poor guy must be in a real shock that he forgot his boss was a guy. And we all know guys can't get pregnant.

"Who did it, Jyudaime?" this time his voice leaked sticky venom.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...J-Jyudaime?"

"...Um, it's..."

"Yes?"

"It's y-you, Gokudera-kun."

"..." The line went dead.

* * *

"Reborn, I think he fainted." Tsuna looked at Reborn.

"Just leave him be: he'll recover soon," Reborn said. Tsuna nodded.

"Tsuna you want to make this more fun?" Tsuna looked at Reborn and nodded eagerly.

"Then, wait here 'till I come back," he told then jumped to the floor and walked out. Tsuna watched his retreating back and stayed.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Your dog is watching me shower." Lambo tore his phone away from his ear and looked at the phone's screen: Unknown.

"Excuse me?"

"Your dog is watching me shower. It's creepy."

"Sorry, but I don't have a dog."

"I know it's your dog so you better get here and take it away."

Lambo sighed.

"HIIEEE! He's licking me!"

"Vongola? What are you doing?"

"Oh, hehe...you found out."

"..."

"...Later!" And the call ended.

* * *

"Reborn, he knew it was me," Tsuna told Reborn.

"Well, if you didn't shrieked he wouldn't know," Reborn suggested.

"Oops, I got carried away," he smiled sheepishly. "Let's make another call." Reborn nodded.

Oh, this is so goddamn amusing.

* * *

"YO!"

"Yo~"

"WHO'S THIS?"

"It's me!"

"WHO?"

"Me!"

"ARE YOU EXTREMELY PLAYING WITH ME?"

"I think you're hot."

"OH, THANK YOU! BUT, WHO'S THIS, REALLY?"

"Your mom."

"HEY, THAT'S EXTREMELY NOT NICE!"

"Yo' mama's not nice."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? ARE YOU OKAY? DID YOU EXTREMELY HIT YOUR HEAD SOMEWHERE?"

"...I hit yo' mama."

"THIS IS NOT EXTREME. I'M HANGING UP."

"WAIT!"

"WHAT IS IT?"

"...I love you..."

"..."

* * *

"Reborn he hung up on me too. I think he doesn't like the 'yo' mama' jokes." Reborn closed his eyes, trying to stifled his laugh.

"Yes, I think so, Dame-Tsuna."

* * *

"H-Hello?"

"Hi! This is a free survey call! We would love it if you can answer our few questions! And we would be happy to provide a few facts for you!"

"U-Umm, s-sure."

"Good! Question one: what's your favorite fruit?"

"Um, i-it's a-"

"I know! It's a pineapple! Now let's move to the-"

"Umm, but th-that's not-"

"-next question! Pineapples or melons?"

"It's-"

"Pineapple! Yes, melon's not nice! Do you know that most melons are pedophile! They like to grope little pineapples!"

"...W-What?"

"On to the next question. What's better: mist or cloud?"

"I"m not su-"

"CORRECT! It's none of the above! The sky's the best! Do you know that clouds are obsessed with a certain school and cute animals while mists are perverted?"

"W-Who is this?"

"Next question! Oh, how I love when peoples answer our questions. Okay, marshmallows or grape candies?"

"I'm-"

"Marshmallows? You must be some kind of a sadistic white/lavender-haired guy who has a very creepy smile and god-complex, right?"

"I-I'm a girl."

"Well, you sure don't sound like one."

"Excuse me?" Chrome stopped stuttering.

"I'm sure you don't even have breasts."

"Who the fuck is this? You better tell me or I'll track you down and shove your feet up you mouth! Then, I'll feed you to the piranhas! No one insults the breasts and got away with it!"

"...Thank you for spending you time answering our questions. Have a nice day!"

"Don't you dare hang up on me, you son of a-"

* * *

Reborn raised his eyebrows as his student ended the call.

"Chrome's scary I don't think I want to make any more calls," said Tsuna.

"What are you talking about? I'm sure it will be okay. Just calm down and call another number." Tsuna gave a look.

"I don't know but are you -you know- stupid?" He asked. "If Chrome's that scary what makes you think Hibari-san and Mukuro will be better?" Reborn kicked his head. Hard.

"You think I'll let you go if you're drunk? But, that's very brave of you, Dame-Tsuna," he smirked.

"Thank you, I guess." He shrugged. "Wait. I'm drunk?"

"Yes, now make another call," Reborn ordered. Tsuna complied.

* * *

"Yes, who is this?"

"Do you know that you hair looks like a pineapple?"

A tick mark appeared on Mukuro's forehead.

"Excuse me but can you please kindly repeat that for me? I don't think I heard you clearly."

"I said: do you know that your hair looks like a freaking pineapple? So, do you?"

"Do you have a death wish? I can be very creative you know?"

"But, don't worry. You're still hot. Not many people can pull a hairstyle like that and still look hot you know? There's only a few."

"...You think so?"

"Of course! I think you're really hot."

"You flatter me."

"But, I think you should change your hair color: it's kinda dull."

"It's indigo."

"Well, yes. But, I think you should dye it pink or yellow. Pineapples are yellow."

"Don't you think it's to bright?"

"Hmm... Then, maybe orange or brownish?"

"Brown is dull and orange too."

"Hey! I have brown hair you know? Be a little sensitive!"

"You said my hair looks like a pineapple."

"Fine, sorry. So, what color do you think you should dye your hair?"

"I'm thinking green."

"Green? Ew, that'd make you look like an un-mature pineapple."

"Un-mature pineapple?"

"Yeah, the green pineapples. I think you should do gold or red. Red is nice. It'll bring out the color of your eyes. Your right eyes that is."

"I don't know; it's too bright."

"Red isn't bright."

"Hmm..."

"So?"

"I think I'll stick with indigo."

"But, it's dull."

"So does brown."

"Touché."

"Who are you actually?"

"No one you know."

"How did you get my number?"

"In the toilet."

"In the toilet." Mukuro repeated.

"Nice talking to you. Now if you excuse me."

"Yeah, sure."

"You sure you don't want to die?"

"What?"

"I said: you sure you don't want to dye your hair?"

"That's not what I heard earlier."

"It is. So?"

"Nah, I'm sticking with indigo."

"Fine, whatever. But, it makes you look fat."

"What? Who the fu-"

* * *

"Reborn, I don't think I'll survive if he know it was me."

"Well, he won't. Now, the last call."

"Fine, fine..."

* * *

"Hn."

"I blew Namimori Middle School up."

"What?"

"You should see it, Jin. It was amazing!"

"..."

"And you know I think I saw a yellow fluffy ball got burn. It was singing too you know. Poor fluffy ball."

"You burnt Hibird?"

"Who? Hibird? Oh, the fluffy ball. It was a bird? Well, if you put it that way; I think yes, I did. But, Jin it'd be awesome if you're here too."

"Who's this?"

"Jin? Are you okay? It's me, dude!"

" .This?"

"Shit. This isn't Jin, right?"

"..."

"Well, fuck."

"This is Hibari Kyoya."

"H-Hibari-san?! Oh, shit. Fuck. Damn. Oh, hell!"

"So, mind telling me you name so I can hunt you down?"

"Haha, I was joking man! I didn't blew up the school. It's still standing! Well, half of it."

"Where are you?"

"Umm. Why?"

" .You?"

"What the fuck make you think I'll tell you-" he was cut off by a growl, "-I mean: I'm still in front of the school."

"Good, wait there. I'm coming and I'm going to bite you to death."

"Um. Okay. Sure. Whatever. I'll just wait here."

"You better be."

* * *

"Hibari-san's going to Namimori," Tsuna told his tutor.

"I can smell more paper works," smirked the Arcobaleno.

"Well, shit."

Oh, very amusing indeed.

* * *

The next day.

Tsuna opened his eyes slowly.

"Ugh," grunted the young Mafioso, "my head hurts."

"You're awake," said a voice he know so very much. "Reborn? Where am I?" asked the brunet.

"In your office," he replied. "You look like shit."

"What happened?" Tsuna pinched the bridge of his nose. His head was hurting so bad.

"You were drunk."

"I was? And you didn't stop me?" Tsuna eyed Reborn warily.

"Yes." Tsuna kept eyeing him.

"Did I do anything stupid?" A smirked appeared on his tutor's face and he knew that time: hell awaited him. "What did I do this time?"

"Oh, nothing much," Reborn said. But, the smirk on his face was getting wider every second. "You were calling you guardians."

Tsuna looked Reborn. He knew that's not all. Well, the grin on the sadistic baby's face told him so.

"A few of them were traumatized, some would love to kill you and some were just confused." Tsuna banged his head on his desk. The memory of the phone calls last night flooded his mind. And he froze. "Well, fuck."

"I suggest you write you will now, Dame-Tsuna."

"Fuck."

'And if you did survive... I'm thinking of the Varia next,' Reborn mused.

Tsuna shivered.

"It's cold, Reborn," he said. Reborn just smirked and went out of the room.


End file.
